I admit that I am not naturally gifted at patience. When I was a kid, my parents often had to remind me that I didn’t need to finish a big project in one day.

In our slowly reopening world, we are all being challenged to display a little more patience. I know that waiting for the studio to reopen fully has been testing the patience of our students and team alike.

I commend our community for being so careful during the stay at home order and as we progress through the pandemic’s phases. I have heard many heartening stories about how you are taking care of yourselves and others. I am really proud to be a part of such a compassionate and thoughtful group!

While we will gradually open up a bit more this month, 5KY's management team is very conscious of our duty to keep our community safe. We know that some of you will want to return to classes at the studio right away and others will prefer to keep streaming our online classes at home.

We want to honor both choices. We are taking this time to implement new systems to make sure the messy middle of this pandemic is as safe and smooth for you as possible.

Our aim is to open a couple of in-studio classes by mid-July to start. In the meantime, don't forget we are co-hosting a fundraiser with The FIT Institute for My Block, My Hood, My City with a Rooftop Yoga class on July 11th!

I think we are all realizing that (safely) reopening is going to take more time and effort than we initially envisioned early this spring. The phases may not proceed neatly. At times it may even feel like we are moving backward.

Even so, we are making progress little by little. Someday, things will come back to a sense of normalcy. But until then, our patience is being tested.

In this spirit, I’d like to offer some practical tips on developing patience I’ve gathered as I work to reform my own impatience.

Some of the ideas are tools we can use in our yoga and meditation practice. These are things we can work on every time we return to our mat or meditation cushion.

The rest are activities I turn to when strong feelings of impatience rear up every so often. These activities can be done with regularity on any schedule that suits you.

Developing Patience

• In Meditation - When my mind wanders in meditation, I try not to beat myself up. It’s normal for the mind to wander. Noticing that the attention has drifted and bringing it back develops concentration by deepening associated neural pathways. Eventually, meditation will happen but for now, returning my concentration again and again is enough. Sometimes it helps to think about how funny it is that the mind can’t sit still. "Silly mind, just like a monkey's." Then we move into a place of observation and compassion, instead of judgement.  When we don’t judge our own process, we are practicing patience. Additionally, when we have an impulsive thought like, “that’s enough, I’m done for the day,” we can try coming back to our breath and sitting for another minute. We are directly working on our ability to be patient through that restraint. Finally, we might integrate an affirming mantra into our meditation practice, such as "I am at peace with the process of life" or "every day and in every way, getting better and better" (or pick one that resonates more with you.) This mantra can be pulled out of a back pocket when our patience with ourselves is tested.

 

• In Hatha Yoga - When I feel frustrated that I’m not attaining an intended position or state of mind, I try to sink my attention deep into my body. For example, if I’m practicing a pose and feel frustrated by my lack of progress, I imagine the body part that is struggling in detail. What does it look like? What is happening to it and inside it as I hold this position? How do the structures and cells interact with one another as I practice? What processes of biomechanics are displayed while I practice? Or, if an intrusive thought or feeling interrupts a peaceful state of mind, I will ask myself where I feel that intrusive feeling in my body. I try to "see" it in my mind's eye. When we detach from our thoughts and start to observe the body and mind, we are moving away from egoistic perception and toward a witnessing perception. In this state we are usually more able to feel at peace with the process.
  

 

• With Journaling - Writing isn’t for everybody, but a journal can contain whatever speaks to you. You could draw, collage, or even leave voice memos for yourself. Consistently documenting where we are in a moment (the good and bad) can help us start to notice patterns that keep us stuck. It can also help us recognize and honor that we’ve made a gradual and challenging change for good. Infrequently, I will pick up a journal I wrote five or ten years ago and suddenly realize how much is different in my life. I didn't see the gradual changes as they happened, nor remember them now that they have come to pass. But looking back, the full force of my consistent efforts is clear. Reminders of the necessarily slow nature of progress can help motivate us to keep making wise everyday decisions, in order to get where we want to be eventually. That is both patience and discipline.
  

 

• Through an Annual Review - This doesn’t need to be dry. My mother taught me an exercise, created by Dr. Daniel Amen, which has helped me through many impatient times. Segment a piece of paper into three sections: one just for you, one for your home-life, and one for work. Jot down three or four things you’d like to accomplish in each area of your life in the next five years (you could also choose a different time frame). Put this in a safe place where you’ll remember to check it every so often. Referring to this list regularly can keep you on track and remind you that it’s all a process you’re continually working on. After all, the journey is the goal, right? I’ve heard we think we can accomplish more than is possible in one year but less than is possible in five. So reviewing these lists over several years will show you how hard you’ve worked and where you’ve already succeeded. It’s human nature to forget the good you’ve already done and hang onto what you haven’t accomplished yet. But a list like this is hard proof of your efforts already.
  

 

• By Cultivating Friendships - If you have a long-term relationship with someone you can feel vulnerable around, this is a great way to check in with your progress. We are our harshest critics and a friendly outside perspective on how you’ve changed can be eye-opening. From the outside, it's easier to be more objective and kind. It might be nice to do the annual review exercise with this friend and then check in at regular intervals to give each other feedback on what you’ve both accomplished. Or a less formal approach might work better for you. In any case, a candid conversation about goals and accomplishments with someone else can help us see a bit more objectively, as well as develop compassion for ourselves and the processes we are undergoing to improve.
  

In the end, we should know the nature of impermanence and trust that the discomfort will pass as we continue to work on ourselves. I hope that we will all be able to channel this potent energy into positive changes that last well beyond the current moment.

Five Keys Yoga Studio joins in mourning the horrific and senseless deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and the many other lives of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) lost to systematic racism and police violence. We condemn the loss of these lives and the trauma it inflicts upon innocent families and communities.

We stand with those in our Chicago community and nationwide who battle discrimination every day of their lives. The destruction of property exhibited by bad actors of civil liberty are not reflective of a community of underrepresented individuals trying to make the best life for their families, friends and selves. We believe strongly that diversity is what makes this country and city so very special. 

We are one race of people looking for a better life and anyone who believes otherwise is part of the problem. Together, as a unified voice against injustice we have the ability to make real change.

June brings many rays of sunshine - the summer solstice, International Day of Yoga, and Father's Day are all celebrated June 21st this year! 

Although Father's Day comes the month after Mother's Day, dads don't come after moms in our hearts.  The order of these holidays seems to express the innate humility fathers embody.  It is this humility that we celebrate as our theme this month.

The hallmark of care-taking is a willingness to set aside one's ego and humble oneself to the circumstances.  I think of some of the great fathers I know, patiently explaining a complicated concept in a way their five year old can understand, practicing yoga with a child hanging off of them, or offering reassuring guidance in moments of challenge. 

These are all expressions of humility.  When we step aside to let the one growing and learning accomplish their goals on their own, but remain a constant support in the wings. 

Much like we can all practice motherhood with ourselves, so we can father ourselves - remaining consistent and having faith we'll figure it out if we keep going.  Creating the power to change without our ego clouding the way.

Yoga and meditation are fantastic training grounds for humility.  In fact, the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali warn about letting your ego get in the way.  Once a person becomes adept at a few yoga poses and sitting still in meditation, the ego may start to feel pretty proud.

While working to continually improve within your practice is a good thing, once the ego is involved, development is halted.  The ego tends to hold on to the final product, whereas the heart prioritizes the process.

Once the ego has determined "I've accomplished it," no further progress is possible.  But a heart-centered approach is continually evolving, responsive to life as it is right now.  Not holding onto a fancy pose you did ten years ago but now hurts.

Our teacher, Sonia Sumar, often tells us we need to "stop fighting with the position."  She explains that we must find the zero-point of each position, where we are moving to our limits but completely comfortable and in control.  "Only then," she always follows up, "are you practicing yoga."

Yoga asks us to meet our mind and body where it is at this very moment.  We have to humble ourselves and listen to the signals our body is telling (or in some cases, screaming) at us.  Once we do that, we will progress.  No question.

This is the purpose of a lifelong practice like yoga.  As we develop, our understanding of these practices deepens beyond the body and even the mind, toward the very essence of ourselves.

In the words of Swami Satchidananda, we become more easeful, peaceful, and useful by developing our practice beyond the level of the ego.  Instead, we move our attention to our heart.  That is what fatherhood is all about!

Then, our practice - whether within our practice as yogis or as fathers (to ourselves or others) - becomes a service to humanity, a place to find permanent peace and joy, and a practice of surrendering to our place in the universe.  And isn't that more worthwhile than putting your legs behind your head?

Recently, I was overcome by feelings of grief.  We are all processing the last weeks and many of us are working through a realization that the world will never be the same.

In the U.S., we are often encouraged to push away feelings of sadness or discomfort.  Whether this is due to discomfort with sitting with our own or another person's emotions, or a fear that another person's pain will cause us pain, pushing feelings away is a surefire way to kindle them further.

Then, we may turn to anger, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy food, or any other maladaptive coping mechanisms we are prone to.  We stuff away these feelings in avoidance, never realizing they are only fermenting and growing more explosive each day we avoid them.

Although yoga is often thought of as exercises for the body, yogis practicing at 5KY know that there are many more layers we're accessing through our practices.  In yogic philosophy, there are five layers (koshas) that cover and give expression to the true self within each of us.

There is, of course, the bodily layer.  That part of us made up from the food we (or our mothers, when we are in utero) eat.  The next layer, which is slightly more subtle, is that part of us made up of our breath.  Oxygen energizes the physical body and helps us act.

Beyond this layer, is the layer of our instinctual mind.  This is distinct from the "wise" part of our mind that is responsible for observing the fluctuations of thought and controlling our responses to stimuli. 

So for example, our instinctual mind may smell something really tasty cooking and think, "I'm hungry.  I need to have that right away."  Our wise mind may tell us "no, I'm in the middle of my work.  I just ate two hours ago.  I can wait until dinnertime."

Though this wise mind is useful in reigning in instinctual impulses that don't serve us in the long run, sometimes our instinctual mind cries out with such urgency that we must listen.  So how do we combine honoring and controlling our emotions, especially in times like this?

The answer is compassion.  In Sanskrit, compassion is called Karuna.  Karuna is that sweet sadness we feel when we observe another being in distress. 

Sometimes we get swept up in this sadness and start to empathize with the pain of the other.  Although empathy can create a powerful connection, when we are stuck in the same emotion as the being we empathize with, we are unable to offer real help.  Compassion allows us to feel for the being's pain, without creating additional suffering (within ourselves).

One helpful tool from psychology I often employ when feeling overwhelmed by empathy, is discerning between my "circle of control" versus my "circle of influence".  Most of us are very concerned about the well-being of our loved ones, our neighbors, our city, and our planet. 

But it is not within our influence to correct every mistake we see.  When we try to influence things out of our control, we find fear.  And fear will always lead to anger and sadness.  Fear, anger, and sadness may be emotionally potent but they are also powerless to create feelings joy, love, wonder, or peace.

Furthermore, when we act out of fear, anger, and sadness, we may impose our own will upon another.  Not accepting our lack of influence in the situation, we use strategies that work for us and try to control others.  When our feeble attempts at controlling something wholly out of our control fail, we only feel more fear.  The cycle repeats.

Karuna is the middle path between pushing our emotions away and overly involving ourselves in the feelings of fear, anger, and sadness.  We can feel compassion for those suffering at this moment, for the whole planet even. 

We can also feel compassion for our own emotions.  Then, give ourselves the opportunity to turn toward courage, love, and joy, as an antidote to our suffering.  It's a practice and it takes time.

Through this compassionate attention to our own emotions, we will begin to feel the unity behind all diversity.  We will stop causing pain to ourselves, others, and to the planet.  We will see the solutions to ending suffering for all beings with whom we co-exist.  Only then can we say we have true equality: no divisions between individuals, countries, or even, species.

In service of this, I offer you a prayer I use during Metta or Loving-Kindness meditation, which has helped me cultivate feelings of courage, love, and joy in these dark days. 

In each part, call to mind someone specific to whom you offer these thoughts.  Sit with the prayer for each person and really try to feel what you are thinking.

• May [a beloved teacher/guide] be peaceful, healthy, and happy.
• May [a loved one] be peaceful, healthy, and happy.
• May [a neutral acquaintance] be peaceful, healthy, and happy.
• May [a person who has caused pain] be peaceful, healthy, and happy.
• May I be peaceful, healthy, and happy.
• May all beings be peaceful, healthy, and happy.

I send my prayer that you are free from suffering and surrounded by peace, health, and happiness.

Boy, this has been the longest month we've ever had in a week!  So much has happened.  Like many of you, we are all trying to process this new reality.

One thing that has completely transformed my mood has been the ability to check in with people all over the world.  From Chicago to Hong Kong, we are working on preventing the spread of this disease and staying sane at home. 

I think it hasn't been easy for any of us.  But as the daughter of parents in their 70s, I am humbled by the efforts of my neighbors to keep our precious elders safe.  It is also remarkable to see everyday heroes coming through in all capacities. 

Nurses,  doctors, and first responders working long hours in risky conditions, to protect and heal others.  Grocery and drug store workers showing up and risking their health and the health of their family for us, even though they get none of the glory.  Teachers learning to teach remotely for the first time, on the fly.  Parents, learning how to be a teacher on the fly.  Think about all those amazing IT people keeping us connected in our Zoom meetings!

All of us have been asked to be more flexible and wear several different hats.  To take care of others and ourselves better.  To be compassionate and patient and generous.  To learn what we can do without.  To discriminate between the real and the unreal, the permanent and the impermanent  These are all yogic values.

That is why yoga and mindfulness masters go on pilgrimages - from Buddha to Swami Satchidananda.  To get away from worldly desires and connect to the true self within each of us. 

At this time especially, I am so blessed to have the support of a guru, or spiritual guide.  Guru means remover of the darkness.  I think this translation of guru is an important distinction.  What does it mean?

It means that whether we realize it or not, there is always light.  But our monkey mind clouds our heads with thoughts of darkness: things we desire and don't have, things we don't want and avoid, things we have but are afraid to lose. 

The guru is the entity (whether in the flesh, passed on from the flesh, or the guru that resides deep within each of our hearts) that removes those thoughts of darkness and reveals the never-ending source of light within us.  Which is peace.  I promise you, you have that guru within you. 

So although things feel extremely difficult right now, remember that this is all temporary.  Eventually, this will pass and we will be left with the lessons we've learned.  Pain, surely, but not necessarily suffering.

You have a choice.  You can let your monkey mind cloud your thoughts and emotions with darkness.  Or you can use this time to listen to the guru inside and take better care of yourself, others, and your surroundings.

We are here to support that.  This is what yoga does best!  So we are thrilled to offer a HUGE variety of free and donation-based online programs for our community.  From an intro to yoga class, to a breathing and meditation practice, to a chair yoga class, to kids' yoga classes, to yoga for reducing eye strain (after all those hours looking at a screen...)  Keep your eye out for other, future free offerings.

Meanwhile, our regularly scheduled classes continue streaming online.  This has been quite an experiment for us but has also been very successful so far!  We'd love to see you at those classes too.  This is a hard time for small businesses, but with the support of the community, we can get through it. 

Thank you for your support now and always.

Neale Baldyga and Scott Bakshis will celebrate the Winter Solstice with us on December 22nd.  At 6:30, they will accompany a candlelight yoga class with live music and at 7:45, will lead a sound healing for the community.  We are a small space, so make sure to register ahead of time to save your spot!

Why do you love bringing music to others?

Neale: You cannot simulate the live experience because the audience is as important as the performers. Everyone is choosing to ride the wave of frequency and vibration together and that is beautiful. It’s always different and always one of a kind.

Scott: I believe music heals. Songs and melodies can move us deeply and release emotions. Music can take our minds away from worry, allowing them to rest and recharge. Vibrations can massage us both energetically and physically to break up stagnation and to support healing. I love bringing music to others because there is nothing more beautiful, powerful, or transcendent.

What benefits to you think a healer/seeker may receive by attending live music?

Neale: Sooo many! The ability to better understand the world within and the world around. To feel something, really feel. A reminder that every moment is a fresh start.

Scott: I believe healers will receive the same benefits from sounds and songs as any other person. Healers need to heal, too. I believe the quality (not quantity) of healing is directly related to the intentions and vibrations of the music. This is not to say that some music or vibrations are better than others, only to say that the release and healing we experience while participating in a live music event will be of a similar quality to the energy of the music. If your soul requires peace and quiet, you might not choose to go to a rock concert. If you can’t sit still, maybe don’t go to the symphony or an opera. You can listen to what your soul needs and select live music experiences to satiate those needs. As a final thought, all music means something to someone. It is healing for someone. So I encourage everyone to experience a wide range of sounds and learn to enjoy new music by different people. In doing so, we come to understand others at a deep level, and we expand our capacity for empathy. There is no greater tool for a healer.

Where else can we listen to your music?

Neale: I have nothing new in a very long time. That is our plan for 2020. I have some old breathwork mixes and meditation tracks on SoundCloud.

Scott: You can’t!

Want to experience the healing power of live sound yourself?

What brought you to yoga? 
What brought me to yoga? I am an actress and instructor for the performing arts for many years.  Along this path, learning to use the science of yoga came naturally to me.  As an instructor  of improvisation and acting, I have bridged the two sciences of the art of performance and yoga into my company, Yes And Yoga. 
What is your approach to teaching? 
My approach to teaching?  Interesting question.  My style is very…me which I admit is quirky and tangent but for only educational reasons.  I see what is needed at the beginning of class and then go from there.  I want my students to find space they didn't know they had and leave my class relaxed but eager to research what was mentioned during the practice. 
Why do you choose to teach at 5KY? ​
I am extremely delighted to teach at 5KY.  This is a pure Hatha studio in Chicago.  You want to learn yoga?practice here.  I consider myself lucky to instruct here. 
What makes your soul sing?  
 What makes my heart sing?  Knowing that as I exhale that the Universe is breathing me in and vice versa.  The present moment.  It all comes back to the breath.  Oh, and I still love my teenagers who give me no end of apathy for now.  I can find the love in the apathy.  Find the love. ​